Cry
by Samhain Eve
Summary: Alphonse needs to rethink his choices and make some decisions before he loses his mind. WARNINGS: rating for the angst and for a few choice words.


**Author's Note: This is response to the poll that I posted. I hope that you guys like this story. This will probably be my first angst fic, and it will be my first song fic. I also want to apologize for taking so long to do another story. I have been working on schoolwork lately.  
**

**The song is Cry by Jason Walker. I highly suggest you listen to the song while you read the story.  
**

**My beta is Fulofhyperness, and she is an author like me. She is amazing, and I really look up to her. You should check out some of her stories.  
**

* * *

**Cry**

* * *

I knew that I was dreaming, but I had no intention of ever waking up. I didn't want to face what was going to happen when I finally did. The dream was something that I had been wanting forever.

_"Al, how do you feel about me?" Ed asked me, looking at me sideways with a light blush covering his skin. He looked beautiful, and I found myself ogling. He was the one person in the world that I wanted._

_"Why do you ask?" I inquired, trying to stall for time. I didn't know what he was leaning towards, so I decided to try and get a bit more information out of him before I made my decision on how to answer him.  
_

_"I'm asking because I noticed all of the glances and stares you have been giving me. Is there something that you wanted to tell me?" He asked with a small smile on his lips. It was then that I realized where he was going with it. I blushed and averted my gaze.  
_

_"You figured it out, didn't you? That I love you?" I asked softly, fearing what he was going to say.  
_

_"Yeah, I did." He said just as softly.  
_

_Both of us stayed silent, and I would have stayed that way had he not chosen to bring his hand up and grab my chin, forcing me to look at him. I gulped at the proximity our lips were at, but made no move to get away. He closed some of the distance between our lips and, just before our lips were about to touch, I jumped with a start.  
_

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, cursing my bad luck. I would have given nearly anything to have that dream come true, but I would have given even more to have him be happy. And he was, as far as I knew. I just didn't want to watch as he was with someone else. Unrequited love was hard enough, but to see him all over someone else was literally torture. I knew that I was losing my mind with the pain.

Ever since we somehow managed to get back to our own land, Winry has been all over Ed, and Ed has practically shoved me aside for better things. When he told me that he was going to ask Winry to marry him, I was so shocked and hurt, but because he seemed so happy, I kept that all locked up and congratulated him. He asked me to be his best man, and I couldn't say no. Of course, the night after the wedding, I went out to the bar and got so plastered that I couldn't remember it at all.

I wanted to move out so that I could possibly move on, but every time I try to bring it up, Ed gets furious at me, thinking that I was going to leave him again. It's times like those that I think he knows exactly how I feel about him. I know that he isn't cruel, but it hurts to be around him. He gives me those puppy dog eyes, and I just lose my resolve.

Thankfully, tonight, he and Winry were gone and I had the house to myself. I picked up my iPod, and one of my favorite songs came on. I start to sing along to it, and it isn't long before I start feeling like I am going to cry. If Ed had been there, I wouldn't have kept going, but I didn't care because he wasn't there.

**Oh no, where did all the years go,  
Was it really worth all this?**

**Heartache, that was handed to me,  
Holding on just don't make sense...  
**

**But the hardest part of letting go,  
Is trying to find a way to let, you, know.  
**

**So let's just cry, cry, on each others shoulders,  
Cry until it's over, can't it just be over,  
And we'll just cry, cry, cry until it's all gone,  
Been holding on for too long, time for us to move on.  
**

**I'm tired of trying to find a reason why.  
So let's just cry.  
**

By this time, tears were steadily flowing down my cheeks. This song never failed to get me sad. I knew that there was no possible way that I could ever be with the one person that I loved more than anything else in the world. It was the next verse that really got to me the most, because I knew that I had spent years of my life trying to make him see how I felt.

**Well I've been, thinking bout my life,  
How much time I've wasted.**

**I'm ready, to put it all behind,  
Let it all be yesterday.  
**

**But the hardest part of letting go,  
Is trying to find a way to let, you, know.  
**

**So let's just cry, cry, on each others shoulders,  
Cry until it's over, can't it just be over,  
And we'll just cry, cry, cry until it's all gone,  
Been holding on for too long, time for us to move on.  
**

**I'm tired of trying to find a reason why.  
So let's just... Cry.  
**

I ended with a sigh. I felt exhausted again, and I made a split minute decision. I quickly went back to my room and gathered all of my things. I grabbed the bag of money from underneath my mattress and packed all of my clothes and possessions in my suitcase. I was leaving, and I was not going to come back.

By the time that I had everything packed, I heard Winry and Ed come up the driveway. I was scared of having to face off against Ed, but there was no way that I was going to back down this time. I needed to get out and move on, or I was going to literally lose my mind.

I lugged my suitcase out into the hallway connecting the door to the outside world. I stopped there and waited for Ed and Winry to walk through the door. I knew that I needed to get this done.

When Ed walked through the door, he didn't even see me. He turned around and smiled behind him, kissing Winry right on the lips. I quelled the burning sensation of pain in my chest, and tried my hardest to school my features.

Winry was the first person to notice me, and I squared my shoulders. Winry nodded in my direction, and Ed turned around with an inquisitive glance in his eyes. He looked at me and started to smile, but the smile froze on his lips when he saw the suitcase on the ground next to me. His expression turned to one that made my heart clench at least as badly as the kiss he shared with Winry, if not more so. Pain. I knew what my walking out would do to him.

"What are you doing Al?" He asked, though we both knew exactly what I was doing. Winry took one look at the both of us and left the two of us alone. I smiled gratefully at her. Even though she was with the one person I would have given my life to be with, I still liked her. Ed just chose her over me, and that was how it was. There was no reason to be mad at her for something that she had no control over.

"I'm leaving Ed. You and Winry need your space, and I feel like I am intruding. I don't want to get in the way of your happiness." I said. The old Ed would have immediately picked up on the slightly dead tone to my voice, but this new Ed didn't notice, or didn't think it was important enough to mention.

"What are you talking about? You're my brother! Of course you aren't getting in the way of things! I like having you here." Ed said. I couldn't tell whether or not he actually believed what he was saying.

"I can't live with you anymore." I said, and something in my voice must have finally clicked with him because his expression turned to one of horror. I knew that he hadn't found out how I felt about him yet, but I had no clue what was going on in his head.

"I've been neglecting you, haven't I? I've been spending too much time with Winry, and I haven't spent enough time with you, have I?" He asked. His stubbornness was what finally made me lose it.

"You think I am that petty?! She is your wife! I do not expect anything less!" I nearly shouted. Ed was taken aback, so much so that he stumbled back a step. It only took him a minute to get over his shock, and then he looked mad.

"What the hell is going on Al?! You keep bringing up leaving! Do you really want to get away from me that badly? Do you really hate what happened to you that much that the hate has transferred to me?" Ed asked. Hearing that from him broke the carefully built dam I had built around my heart.

"I WANT TO LEAVE BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND I CAN'T TAKE IT!" I yelled, picking up my suitcase and storming out past him. I got one quick glimpse at his face, and it made me start to cry. He was looking at me with disgust plainly on his face.

Just as I was about to walk out of the door, Ed's voice stopped me. He sounded mean, and cold, and nothing like the brother or friend that I used to know.

"Don't you ever come back here, you fucking freak!" He said. I squared my shoulders, painfully aware of how used to the depression that was quickly settling in on my soul. I didn't look back, I simply walked out of the door.

He didn't even try to stop me from leaving after I told him how I felt.

That was what hurt the most.

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**Author's Note: Short, I know, and I'm sorry. This story is a reflection of the turmoil that I am feeling in my own life, in my own soul. Thank you for reading this, and I hope that you can connect to it and that it isn't just words. Unrequited love can be the most painful thing to bear. I know that full well.**


End file.
